Fraternity Party Out of Soap

By Stav

Columbus, OH: Crisis looms at the Ohio State Chapter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon’s (ΣΑΕ) eighties themed party as the fraternity seems to have run completely out of hand soap.

“I mean, for most people, this is fine,” says 3rd year Ohio State Student and ΣΑΕ fraternity member Mitch, 20. “I am a little concerned, though, as it’s likely at least three more people are going to puke in the restrooms before tonight is over, and I know we’re gonna need some soap for that. Also, preventing germs in general from spreading would be nice.”

“It could be worse,” says party goer and 4th year Ohio State student, Alex. “I remember the time all of the toilets got clogged at our Halloween party last year! It was okay until all the girls left.”

Some, however, were not as convinced about the situation turning out. “You guys are out of soap? Gross!” said 3rd year Ohio State student Stavroula, 20. “I guess it’s not that much different for all the men here who don’t wash their hands after using the restroom anyways.”

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