Wow! Four New Liquid Lipsticks That Will Help You Forget About American Imperialism

by Stav

Is American Imperialism getting to you? Have no fear! We’ll help you forget. And what a better way to forget than with brand new liquid lipsticks! Here’s a few for you to pick up and try out:

  1. NYX Slip Tease Full Color Lip Oil ($7.00). Remember Hiroshima and Nagasaki? We don’t! With twelve shades and a bargain price of only 7 dollars, we don’t think you will, either.
  2. Too Faced Liquified High Shine Lipstick ($25.00). Was the war in Iraq fabricated upon false pretenses? Maybe, we have no idea. We’re too busy trying out this new liquid lipstick, and you should too!
  3. Yves Saint Laurent Vinyl Cream Lip Stain ($42.00). It may be true that the CIA was behind the 1953 coup d’état in Iran, however, we would prefer to ignore this. While YSL Vinyl Cream Lip Stain may be a chunk of change at $42, its long-lasting formula and ease of wear will be sure to cleanse any urge you may have to consider the disasters American imperialism has brought upon much of the globe!
  4. Maybelline Super Stay Matte Ink Liquid Lipstick ($11.99). The United States drone program? You could look into it and get super upset, but why exhaust yourself when you could just buy this new liquid lipstick instead? Sold at most drugstores, this lipstick is much more convenient than realizing Barack Obama is behind the deaths of thousands of innocent people.

The realities of American Imperialism may be quite a drag, but with these new liquid lipsticks, you’ll never have to consider them in a meaningful way! Sounds like a good deal to us.

 

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