Uggh, Milkshakes Bring Boys to Yard Again


Detroit, Michigan: Last night Jennifer Sparks, 22, made milkshakes only to wake up to several boys in her yard this morning.

Sparks was frustrated with the arrival of the boys. “I don’t know if this is a bit or what, but it isn’t funny,” she told reporters at Comedy Writing by Stav. “To make matters worse, they won’t leave.  This happens every time I make milkshakes.  It’s downright annoying. I’m just trying to live my life, you know?”

“We have a simple demand,” said yard boy Brett, 21. “The milkshakes. Where are they. Let us have them. Or, don’t, we don’t care. Just know that we will stay here until we get them.” The group of men, about 700 strong and ranging in age from 9 to 36, appears to have no other motive in staying in Jennifer’s yard other than milkshakes.

At press time, Jennifer told reporters she plans to take legal action over the matter.  In the meantime, women in the greater Detroit area are advised against making milkshakes if they have yards.

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