Hide Your Kids, Hide Your Wife: “Mr. Brightside” About to Play at this College Party

by Stav

Waterloo, Ontario: Things are about to get ugly at this undergraduate house party, according to University of Waterloo’s undergraduate student body.  That’s right, the residents of apartment 14, Austin Ketchum and Alex Wright are about to play the popular The Killers song, “Mr. Brightside.”

“These kids aren’t gonna know what hit ‘em,” said Ketchum, 20. “They’ll just be going about their lives at this party, having a good time and what not, and then, bam! This song comes on. They’re all gonna lose their shit, and I’m so excited for it!”

“Hide your kids, hide your wife,” says Alex Wright, 21. “We aren’t responsible for the potential ramifications of this song playing at our party. Things are going to get a little …ridiculous! up in here, and quite frankly, that’s the way we want it. God, I love uni.”

The two party hosts plan on waiting about “five more minutes” before playing the song, partially to mentally prepare the crowd for the onslaught of the song, but mostly to ensure that Austin’s crush shows up in time for the song and will hopefully learn that he is a cool party host.

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