To everyone in my graduating class,

It’s been a while, and I hate to admit I’ve gotten a little out of touch with many of you (okay so the vast majority of you). That’s absolutely because I’ve been up to bigger and better things, like creating this wordpress that has two-hundred ish facebook likes.

Anyways, I just wanted to take the time to let you know that, while I may not have been hot back in 2012 (definitely not offended by not being hot at that point, either) (I also had no real likeable personality traits back then to make up for it, and that’s also okay) (we won’t be discussing 2012 or any other years of high school further, at any given point in time) (I’m definitely not self-conscious about any of this) (really), I am an absolute smoke-show now. Just super hot. So hot that I’m not even going to post a photo of myself here to prove it, I don’t want to make you all more jealous than neccessary. I just wanted to, you know, point it out: I’m hot!

That’s really all I wanted to say, and I hope you all are having a nice life or whatever, even though that’s not possible considering that you are not as hot as me.

With love (even though I am way out of your league now) ,

Stav