Athens, Ohio: Men with poor behavior beware: the feminists of Athens county, Ohio, have successfully replaced the so-called “friend-zone” with the shadow realm from the card-based anime Yu-Gi-Oh! Upon (incorrectly) stating that they have been placed in the “friend-zone,” men within a 45-mile radius of Athens county will now be instantaneously transported to the shadow realm, where they will remain indefinitely.
Women in the greater Athens county area were ecstatic to hear the news.
“I’m not sure if this is, like, legal or whatever, but it sounds pretty good, so I’ll stay quiet,” said local freelance journalist, Stavroula, 24.
Local feminists behind the decision also volunteered to discuss their opinions and concerns with local and national press. “Look, at the end of the day, I find it pretty annoying that men think the friend-zone is a real place,” said local feminist, Christa Matthews, 24. “But if you are going to go on and treat friendship with women -an objectively good thing, I may add!- like it’s some sort of punishment, we may as well, you know, actually punish you for it. And that’s why we’ve decided to replace the friend zone with the shadow realm. I’m really excited for this chance at justice, and I hope that it makes a meaningful impact on the way that men treat us in our day-to-day lives.”
“We’re really happy about this choice of using the shadow realm in particular,” says another resident feminist, Sophia Reyes, 22. “We don’t think men will listen to us if we actually try to talk about gender equality seriously in front of them, so we’ve decided to just communicate our annoyance with them in their terms.”
“I don’t really know all that much about the shadow realm,” Reyes admitted. “But with a name like the shadow realm, it sounds vaguely horrible – and quite frankly, that’s what we want.”