Report: Everyone but You Looks Good In This Photo

Clearwater Beach, Florida: Local, national, and international news outlets regret to report that everyone in your beach-trip group photo (yes, the one you spent two hours applying makeup for.  The one by the dock with the nice view of the water and everything) looks great except you.

“No one else in the photo is blinking, looking away, or anything,” says local reporter, Helen R., 29. “Everyone looks great!  Except you.  You look gross, really.  And it’s not bad lighting, or anything that can easily be explained.  You just look bad.”

“Since everyone else looks great in this photo, too, I’m sure you’ll understand that everyone will probably be using this photo for their Instagram posts about the trip,” says local influencer, Jessica, 21.  “You can’t take it too seriously or anything.  After all, we all know you’d be doing the same if it were YOU who looked good in the photo.  Who knows, maybe that will happen someday.  One can dream.”

At press time, it appears that you looked bad in all the photos from vacation, and not just in this one group photo. Sorry!

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