A DM on Instagram from some guy you slept with that one time
(He’s not even that hot)
Hey Stefanie, how’s it going! That’s how you spell your name, right? Anyways, it’s me, Jordan, remember? That guy who you went home with that one time in college after that Halloween frat party, haha. That was such a fun night. You had a sick ass costume, btw. You probably remember (I hope you remember) me because I still watch your Instagram stories, basically every single time. I hope you’re doing well.
Anyways, I know this is like the fifth message from me that you’ve straight up ignored but I wanted to just say I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother passing away. She (I think, based on the post you just made about her) seemed like a nice lady, and I can’t imagine what you’re going through. That sucks.
I also just uhhh, yeah, you know. We haven’t talked in a while. Okay so we haven’t talked since like when we hooked up like three years ago. Just, I just gotta say though, you’re still looking pretty good. You could still get it if you wanted. I still live in the same apartment as last time (yea, the one right by campus still, I still live there), just so you know where to find me. If you come over, I promise I won’t be too cowardly to show you the way out so you don’t have to awkwardly walk past all my roommates while they’re watching tv next time. I also will not complain about having to wear a condom, I swear. It’ll be fun. Please respond.