London, Ontario: Sources say that a beloved “sexy” pair of underwear belonging to Angela Larson, 23, was demoted to period underwear this last week.
“This underwear has become just too worn out to be deemed sexy anymore,” Angela noted. “I’m not planning to wear this it next time I hook up or see boys anymore, but I’m glad to add it to my stash of period underwear that I can go back to when it’s that time of the month.”
“Please just throw me out,” said Angela’s underwear. “I’ve already lived a hard life, getting thrown on bedroom floors of men I don’t know, almost getting ripped apart every time you see one of those foul creatures. They don’t even notice or acknowledge me, no one ever did. And now you do me dirty like this. I beg you, just put me out of my misery already!”
Angela’s next period starts tomorrow.