Substitute Teacher Fired After Allegedly Teaching Life Skills to Students

Substitute Teacher Fired After Allegedly Teaching Life Skills to Students

By Colin Young and Stav

Logan County, Arkansas: A local substitute teacher who has served in the Logan City School district for eleven years has been fired from teaching after accusations that the 39-year-old taught life skills in an honors physics class at Logan High School.

On Wednesday evening, the city’s school board released the following public safety notice to all residents of Logan county:

Public Safety Notice: The Logan City School District would like to make the community aware of an inappropriate and likely trauma-inducing event that took place in one of its high schools this week, in which a substitute teacher tried to use his time in Grade 12 Honors Physics to teach meaningful life skills.  As per the guidelines established by LCS in 1991, the substitute teacher is required to use class time to either a) hold a study hall b) roll in a television to play one (1) episode of Bill Nye the Science Guy. Finding the substitute teacher to be in violation of these guidelines, we have subsequently terminated his employment.

Students, parents, and community leaders alike have responded to the incident with anger and confusion.

“It all happened so fast,” a student who was in class during the incident explained.  “Someone mentioned they got a credit card offer and the next thing I knew, he was balancing a checkbook right there in front of the whole class!”

“This is unacceptable,” complained Logan county resident and parent, Shelby Waters, 44.  “I am paying taxes so my children can be taught important things like relativity and differential equations!”

“This is a violation of the highest order! Children of this age should not be exposed to things of this nature,”  argued Kenneth Wilds, a Republican member of Logan City Council. “Budgeting, house repair, and things of that nature should be figured out together by a husband and wife after they are married!!”

“I dunno, it was weird, but I kind of liked it,” said a Logan High School student who wished to remain anonymous. “Sure, I’ve tried some of this stuff at home on my own, but it was a little weird to do it in a room full of my friends and classmates. I mean, the guys and me compare credit limits in the locker room, but I didn’t really want the whole class to see (even if it is quite large).”

When contacted for comment, the expelled substitute teacher defended his decision, stating that “these kids are more than old enough to learn about these things. They will be in college soon and tempted to try it all for themselves. In my opinion, it’s better that they learn about it in a safe, controlled environment that has their best interests in mind. When they’re out in the world learning about it from the streets it can be dangerous. There’s a lot of misinformation out there.”

“I don’t understand why everyone is upset about this.  Seriously, what’s a “checkbook?” They never taught me this in school,” said 22 year old Adam Hines and alumnus of LCS.

The school has brought in extra counselors to help students who were involved in the incident. The district attorney has yet to decide if any formal charges will be filed.

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